You have been chosen. Follow these manrules. Or else.


Know what to do and what not to do.
Violations can and will incur punches on your mancard.

In keeping with Ghostbusters protocol, there are manrules and manguidelines. When a guideline gains the approval of the man community it becomes accepted as an inalterable truth and is declared a rule.

Man Rules

There don't seem to be any hard and fast rules of manhood yet. Try consulting the guidelines...

Man Guidelines

A man never, ever, ever glances over his shoulder while standing at a urinal. Ever. -mike

Two men may under no circumstances split a meal. -Sam

A man never removes a sweater or sweatshirt and ties it around his waist. -Steve

You may, without permission, take the last beer or the last piece of pizza, but not both, that's just rude. -Scott

A man does not ask for directions before he gets lost. -Mark

Men should not cry during TV commercials that do not involve patriotism, sports, or kids with dogs. -Tom

Men speak only if there is a reason to. If two men spend an entire day in each other's company and only utter three words, it's a sign of their friendship, not a sign that something's wrong. And never, never call another man just to chat. -Beau

Men do not make Twilight references. -Larry

Men should never share an umbrella. -Fred

A man should not be capable of watching a televised sports game silently. -Lance

It is never OK to apply sunscreen to another man's back, unless: a) one or both of you have just raised a flag over Iwo Jima or b) you're using the spray-on kind. -Chris

Men do not pout. -Chris

If a man ever asks you your thoughts on the film "Running With Scissors", say nothing and run after you stop laughing. -mike

A man does not consult instructions with fewer than two pages or with pictures and no words. -Larry

Two men may talk while in the restroom, but only if both are doing the same thing (sitting, standing, or washing hands). Otherwise, no acknowledgment of the others' presence may be made. -Chris

If asked to carry or hold a woman's purse, a man must hold the purse in one hand, arm outstretched, with the purse remaining at or below the waist. Under no circumstances may the purse straps be utilized around the man's shoulder. Ever. -Chris

A man should remember the absolutes in life: All guns are loaded; All snakes are poisonous; You can never have too much money, tee shirts or tools; Don't buy fitted shirts; My equity is undervalued and my debt rating is too low; Take care of your back, teeth and feet; Don't eat a meal at restaurants with the word "tea" in the name; and Better to get wet than share an umbrella. -Jay

A man should never wear pink, mauve or chartreuse golf shirts unless he's over 6'3", weighs at least 200 lbs, has a waist no larger than a 34...and can drive the ball 325 yards. -mike

When in the presence of a woman, a man must remain sober enough to fight, -Scott

Men do not chat. We talk. Men do not jog. We run. And men do not thirst. We simply hydrate. -Chris

Men may talk while exercising, but only if the discussion does not interfere with the workout. If one man is stronger or faster, it is his duty to end the discussion and leave the weaker man in his dust. -Chris

Men should never shave on Saturday -David

Men do not refer to what they are wearing as "outfits"; they are clothes, uniforms, costumes or get-ups, but never outfits. -Tom

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All rules will be reviewed by the elders before they are displayed. If your rule is accepted, you will gain manpoints. Your mancard will be punched if it is sexist, offensive, or more illiterate than a text message from one's grandparents.